Easing first goodbyes with care
22 September 2025Separation anxiety is a normal stage of early development. It often peaks between 10 and 18 months and can return up to around five years old. Experts view these moments as signs of strong bonds between parent and child, and as opportunities to build resilience.
‘Separation anxiety is really about love and connection,’ says Janet Beyrooti, Preschool Project Manager at Curro. ‘When children find goodbyes difficult, it is because of the depth of their attachment. Our role is to honour that bond while gently helping them widen their circle of trust.’
Understanding the developmental journey
Infants may cry when routines change because they feel safest in familiar arms. Toddlers between one and three years old start exploring independently but still seek reassurance. Preschoolers from three to five years old may verbalise their feelings, yet transitions can still be difficult.
‘When we try to rush or brush off these feelings, adjustment often takes longer,’ notes Janet. ‘Instead, we follow what we call the “Button Theory” – identifying each child’s unique comfort triggers and using them thoughtfully during challenging moments. It could be a favourite toy, a reassuring phrase, or simply a familiar face.’
Gentle strategies for families
Predictable goodbye rituals such as a hug, wave, or special phrase can help children feel secure. Allowing teachers to step in after the farewell may ease distress, while routines and comfort items from home support smoother mornings. Over time, these practices teach children that departures are temporary and safe.
Building trust together
Parents and caregivers may also experience anxiety during goodbyes. ‘You are not alone in these feelings, and we are here to guide and support you every step of the way. Parents often worry that they are “doing it wrong” when their child cries, or they may feel guilty for leaving them,’ adds Janet.
Experienced staff know that tears are natural expressions of attachment. ‘With warmth and patience, children learn that their world can expand while still feeling safe,’ explains Janet. ‘Parents begin to see that the occasional tears are actually a healthy part of building trust.’
At Curro Preschools, staff are trained to guide children through these transitions with gentle, responsive care. Each interaction is designed to reassure both parent and child and create confidence in early school experiences.
A stage of growth
Separation is a milestone that prepares children for future transitions. Positive goodbyes and reunions build confidence, showing them that independence and connection can grow together.
‘Separation anxiety isn’t something to fix quickly,’ concludes Janet. ‘It is a phase to move through with care. When we guide children gently, we help them play, learn, and grow into resilient, trusting individuals. The goal is not to disregard the tears, but to teach children that they are safe, supported, and capable of exploring the world beyond home.’
